Surprisingly, given all the time I’ve spent in Korea, I didn’t really date Korean girls until last year. But from my short experience dating Korean women so far, I don’t think I want to get serious with one. The reason is this: a lot of them had boyfriends. They weren’t even the club rats or crazy alcoholics. They’re sweet and nice little girls that listen to their parents, go to school or work, and have activities like yoga. You know, healthy, functioning adults. Except the fact that they had boyfriends.
Examples
Example 1 – Went out on few dates and things didn’t work out. No biggie. But my buddy found out later that she had a boyfriend of 3 years. Err….
Example 2 – She told me she had a boyfriend and then proceeded to hit on me hardcore. She was trying to get me to ask her out to dinner, but I refused to bite on that one.
Example 3 – Nothing inappropriate happened, but something’s up if I’m hanging out with her more often than her boyfriend.
Example 4 – Actually dated a girl that had a boyfriend of about 5 years. Inappropriate stuff happened.
It’s alright, mistakes happen. I’ve been there too. So I’m not trying to be all high and mighty here (shoot, example 4 was my bad too, yo!). I’m just saying, this is my experience. Of course there are good Korean girls out there. Really good girls. And I know my experience is probably just an anomaly. But it’s still my experience!
K-girls, I actually think you’re great. You’re beautiful, smart, caring and sweet. It’s just that I don’t trust you, dammit!
Gyopo Keith 
lol. wishing u better luck in ur future dating endeavors keith! hope u’re doing well otherwise!
Thanks Hanna! I hope i have better luck too haha
So how long did example 4 last? K-gals still under my consideration? 🙂
example 4 was longer than it should have been 😛
interesting, as this is coming from Asian women.what about ur expereince wth Western women 😉
well, i dated Korean-American chicks… I don’t think that counts as Western does it?
I wish I had a latin girlfriend right now haha
Hey Keith, I’m latin and heading to Korea soon. LOL!! 😛
lol.. can u give us the number that those 4 examples are coming from how many experiences??? if it comes from like a dozen, so it is still normal,, it happens everywhere
No, it wasn’t like a dozen. But even if it was, 1/3 of girls with boyfriends? That’s still a lot!
I can’t say I blame you… even from a Korean girl’s standpoint, (I’m not one but my ex-roommate was) it is exciting to date a Westerner. They can get away with more than what would typically be expected in a regular Korean relationship. And let’s face it, girls can be players too… even goody-two-shoe k-girls. But honestly I think 밀땅 has a LOT to do with it. Its like having options open and they go from one to another fairly & freely. My roommate would come home early one night and she’d tell me she was on a break but then was texting a new guy… SIGH… Also Westerners particularly Americans kinda come with a preset emotional expectation from the relationship which Koreans may not necessarily expect upfront considering their dating methods aka blind dates or arranged dates by parents/family
I’d say something cheesy and encouraging about finding “the one” but I won’t… don’t give up! 🙂
I feel bad for you after reading this… I hope you find a nice girl someday. Good luck! 🙂
As I see, most of them have boyfriends/girlfriends or are married at an early age.. don’t you think??
Interest in a latin girlfriend, seriously? hahah cool!
I mean, young*
my best korean female friend has had a boyfriend for over a year and plans on marrying him, but she still goes on blind dates about once a month because, as she explains it, her family introduces someone and she can’t say no because it would be rude. have you ever heard of that?
I’ve heard something similar. The boyfriend is their choice, while the sogaeting/sun is their parents’ choice. I’ve also heard of girls just keeping their options open and dating around (sogaeting), but keeping their poor boyfriends around as defaults
woow .. what the hell? .. too bad, I hope that you have better dating with girls in the future ^^ my best wishes to you … can I ask something? .. that only happens with kgirls or …. what about mens?
Even as a girl, reading this article scares me! Being born and raised in Canada I can’t imagine a girl having a boyfriend and seeing another guy like it’s “no big deal”. Wow and I thought Koreans were quite conservative when it comes to relationships
Haha no, that’s not only your experience !
I’ve heard many stories like that and I’ve only been in Seoul for a month !
It’s weird to date someone even if you have a boyfriend for 3 years… I mean 3 years is something that you can’t avoid! I don’t know how to explain that but I’m from France and here you can’t do that. It’s really bad for the boyfriend and for the other guy too…
Anyway, I hope you’l find a girl who’s not doing that to you!! 🙂
there’s an attitude that before you are married, nothing really matters. Marriage is seen as a graduation ceremony rather than a sign that a relationship is becoming more serious. We’ll date and date and date, having fun, until we either meet someone really amazing, or we hit the big 30. don’t hate the player, hate the game.
I think that is right on the money! I love hearing my hubby’s old dating stories because they sound like movies!
He was a sleeping-buddy for a couple of different girls because his family wasn’t good enough for them to marry. They had other bfs/fiancees. One girl even refused to have sex with her fiancee, pretending to be an innocent virgin. He found out, got uber-mad, demanded she never speak to my hubby again, and took her back. They continued to talk almost everyday since they still had grad classes together. I don’t know what happened to her.
One of my hubby’s friends would always hit on me (he was so HOT) while the hubby and I were dating. A year later, I found out he had a gf of 5 years!!
I think a big sign of commitment here is when your partner stops flirting and going on dates with other people. I knew that was when my hubby got real about our relationship and seriously wanted a future together.
Don’t forget, the adultry rate in Korea is pretty high too!! I think that has more to do with the low divorce rate though…
I think what Narae says is correct.
I saw a documentary on tv they were explaining in Japan is excatly the same.
Reblogged this on My Korean.
OMG! Now, it all makes sense. This Girl who hit on my boyfriend had a boyfriend of almost four, four, and let me say it again FOUR years. It happened just some months ago.
I believe some Koreans tend to separate marriage and boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (연애). Therefore explaining some tendency of dating until you find a potential person who you want to get married to while having your existing boyfriend or girlfriend. This may be stemming from the traditional culture where marriage is seen as not only a person affair, but rather a family alliance/bonding.
excellent decision! the latin girls are the best!!!!! 😀 hahaha Come to MEXICO!!
You’ll have fun!!! The Mexican food is delicious! the beaches! Our culture! 😛 The best vacation! you will not regret!!!! 🙂
I’ve had very similar experiences with Korean men so i’d agree that it’s more of a cultural difference / norm that dating isn’t always taken as serious as it may be in Western cultures. Seemed super shady at first but i’m starting to realize it’s kind of a norm here ~ not sure if that’s good or bad though
Most Korean guys don’t believe that they could have a serious relationship with foreign girls. So they don’t usually ask foreign girls out. The ones that do however are like players
Haha, this is kinda hilarious, I can barley believe that really happened, you have some strange luck bro.
The people from South Korea are not trusted in Asia.
you are right, My uncle moved there since he wanted to marry his korean gf, truns out that she has tons of bfsss in korea already. I would never wanna date a korean woman in my life since I don’t know how to trust them
hahahah x)) you go man !!
I heard the same thing about the k girls as well. They’re not really trustworthy, maybe looking for a richer or cooler boyfriend ? Anyway best of luck in Seoul. Love the food though !
Hmmm, now I am very curious about the dating norms from the guys’ perspective. As for the girls, I agree with Grace that foreigners arrive to S. Korea with preset emotional expectations. I also agree with Narae about hating the game more than the player. I mean, in the end, it IS a wholly different culture and we should understand where they’re coming from: the ultimate goal is to upkeep or increase one’s social standing and marry and create progeniture that will carry on those good genes and place in society. This comes a lot from Confucianism. Also, I am guessing they are all aware of the fact that many of them DO this, so they themselves do not have a problem with trusting the other, WE (as outsiders with different expectations) do. Hmmmm, don’t know what to tell you Keithers… either change your goal to one of scouting the best mate for marriage, while joining the “game” or suffer the wrath of many other Kgirls of the like hahahahaha. :):)
“Hate the game, not the player” Lol, I hate the player for playing the game in the first place, don’t come and justify cheating and childish behavior on culture. Just because it’s a different culture doesn’t mean that it’s valid. Hitting or killing children is also a part of some people’s culture, doesn’t mean that we should accept it. Anything can be called a culture and therefore assumed to be justifiable. The ultimate goal for anyone with any moral values is to build relationships and trust with people, not simply step on everyone else just to save your own sorry ass, like you put it. That is what a lot of Koreans do, that’s why the work “culture” is the way it is, as well as the view of relationships. Most westerners who come here are indeed arriving with assumptions that culturally the Korean girls are pure, caring and trustworthy (since we fortunately don’t have much Marxism and feminism going on here). Who can blame them? I was the same way, because most of the influence come from superficial long distance interactions and k-dramas. So that girl you’ve been talking to for a year who’s dying to meet you, may very well be seeing a ton of other guys behind your ass. Once you get here, you’ll soon find out that she only wanted to see if you were interesting enough to show to her friends and people around her, then later she’d ditch you. It’s simply something you have to weight, how much do you need before you can trust her based on what you have to win vs lose. The biggest loss is probably the emotional impact, especially if you spend a lot of time with her. I don’t know about Korean men because I never intend on dating men but Korean women are generally maturing a lot slower than women in the west. A lot of them are very emotionally immature almost to the point where they act like they have some sort of schizophrenia. I’ve had that experience with countless Korean women, all the way from early 20’s to 30’s. I was not surprised by the early 20’s but the ones who were close to their 30’s and still acted like they have the mind of a 12 year old was mind blowing to say the least.